By Tim Boykin aka @blackautisticking
From August 2016 to May 2021 I have been going through a part of my life that changed me so much. I went to a place where I was taught more about common sense, my career I wanted to get into and my own self. And that place was called…
College.
But don’t worry I won’t talk about my entire experience. I want to focus on the time I got my associates degree.
In the year of 2016 I graduated from my local high school a year early. I was supposed to graduate from the 11th grade but fortunately since I took all of my required classes I was able to leave early. At 17 years old I graduated with a high school degree. Around that time I could’t believe it, a black autistic young man like myself was going to graduate with honors a year ahead of my class. The best part about it was I got a scholarship from a local community college due to my good grades and the fact that they want to accommodate an autistic person. I was excited to go to college but another part of me was a tad bit nervous just like any other time I transition from one school to another.
Once I got over to my local college to get my associates the first two semesters were pretty good. I’ve had my issues from here and there with the education being a little bit more advanced but I pull through it. How I was able to get past those two semesters was studying and taking notes all by myself. But once I got over to my third semester that is when things got a lot more harder.
Each class was starting to demand more out of me and my grades started to slip from A’s to B’s and from B’s to C’s. I felt Autistic burn out and I didn’t want to go to college anymore. My mom noticed the slipping of my grades and suggested that I not only go to the study center to get help but also try to get some help from the other students in class.
Do not get me wrong I like to be social but this setting feels different. College was full of adults and even though I’m an adult myself as an autistic I never really saw myself like that. I’ve always felt like a child still learning about the world. I was really intimidated by other adults because I know that adults could be very mean. But nonetheless I got the courage to go and speak to others.
In the middle of my third semester, I tried to start off small with meeting other people. I tried seeking out one person and I found that one person in my algebra class. It was a girl in my algebra class that whenever she was asked the questions by the teacher, she was able to answer them correctly and with confidence. She seems like a genuinely nice person so I introduce myself to her and I ask her if me and her would like to meet in the Student Center to talk about the recent lesson. She agreed. Not only do we talk about the lesson but we also get to know each other. I wasn’t comfortable with sharing my Autism diagnosis at first but since we talked over math equations, I started to let my guard down and told her about myself and my interest. She just started to talk more about herself and that is when we started to grow a friendship.
Getting help from another person helped me understand the class that I was struggling with a little better. Advanced algebra was hard for me at first but ever since I got help from another classmate different equations started to become more easy. But unfortunately I was self-conscious about my autism and I haven’t really told her about my autism until near the end of the semester.
When I told her that I was autistic she understood me and was very open and accepting of me because she said that she also had friends who were autistic. I was happy that she accepted me but I was also happy that she still looked at me as a friend other than someone to pity. When the semester ended I ended up getting a C average score and even though I passed the class I was a bit disappointed.
I had a goal! I was wanting to get better in my classes. I didn’t want to be average. I wanted to reach for A’s and B’s just like I did back in high school. So during the fourth semester that is when I discovered the disability Center in my college. I got to talk to some of the teachers about my concerns with my grades and how classes were becoming harder. My teacher suggested that I should get a note taker and more one-on-one time with each teacher that I had a class with.
Honestly, this was just what I needed. The teacher from the disability Center gave me some papers explaining my accommodations just so I could give out to my teachers. It was an absolute blessing that my teachers were able to listen to me. In the classes that I needed the most, I would get a special note taker just so I got all of the information I needed for my daily lessons. I was able to write my personal notes down but it was nice to get another person’s view on things and certain details that my teacher said that I didn’t write down. But this didn’t stop me from finding one person from each class and getting their help to study one on one.
This helped my grades go up. I thought that this would help me but I ran into another problem. I was at the point in my college career that I was burnt out. Even though I had all the help that I needed College work is still WORK! It was at a point where I couldn’t take it anymore.
What really triggered this was when one week I had to do a five-page essay for one class then a 10- page essay for another class and then I had to study for a test in another class! I started to think to myself what is the point of having these classes in college. I wanted to get into performing arts and acting. Why did I need to take a Biology or Calculus class?
I told my mom about my feelings and she told me that I should continue with college because I am on a free ride and I didn’t have to pay for anything due to my Scholarships in high school. Plus I was close to getting my scholarships to get into a free ride for the university I’m going to for my bachelor’s. Don’t get me wrong, I did have some theater classes but they were still…classes. Once I got all of my assignments done for the week I remember me driving around my college parking lot enraged!
Don’t worry I practice safe driving but I needed that drive to release some steam. Then when I parked on the side of the building I noticed some flyers for upcoming theater plays for the next semester and I felt something called to me. When the next semester came up I decided to do more outside projects at my college that involve acting. It was around the time I only had a couple of classes left I had to do to complete my associates. So I decided to act in some short plays and even did a Shakespeare production called, ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream.’
I enjoyed playing the role of Tom Snout and getting to interact with other talented actors. I was also happy that the people were accommodating and understanding towards my autism. Ever since I started to do some fun stuff around College I started to not feel exhausted or stressed out.
In 2018, I was able to graduate out of college with my associates and general education with the emphasis In Theater Arts and I was able to get another scholarship for a free ride to the University of Missouri for my bachelor’s.
The story of my bachelor’s is one for another time.
This journey for my associates has been a long but important Journey. I realized that I am stronger than I thought. I have the courage to talk to people and get help when I need it. I had the courage to be open about my autism. I had the courage to ask questions from my superiors. I was even open enough to have fun whenever I felt stressed.
So for those who are reading this blog, never be afraid to be open, opportunities will come your way!