By Charlotte aka The Spectrum Girl
Traveling is really exhausting for me as an autistic because of how it takes me much more time than it does for others to get used to changes in surroundings that occur when we travel. When the things I experience during a trip are among what exhausts me the most, it is quite ironic that I love to travel and experience new things and people so much.
That's why I've come to realize that a short weekend trip isn't always the most beneficial type of trip for me, especially if I'm going to a place I've never been before, it will just be a total waste of my time.
If I do a short trip then most of the time will be spent on trying to get myself oriented with all the practical things that I need to be somewhat comfortable, as well as getting to know my new surroundings, and by the time the weekend is over I usually just feel exhausted and that it was more work than fun to go on that trip.
Even coming home from a short trip takes a substantial amount of energy as well because I will have to unpack my equipment (that meaning the essentials that I use everyday like medication and so on), reset my body to understand that I'm in my own home, and then try to go back to my normal routine which isn't done in a flash either.
I really do envy those who can easily fall asleep in one place, get up in the morning to go on a trip, then arrive there and at night, easily fall asleep in a totally different place, then wake up and go about life as usual like it's nothing. I've never been able to do that, not even a smidge.
I have to have enough time to familiarize myself with my new surroundings and inspect the things around me to make sure I am comfortable with how things work, especially if I'm in a different country it takes an enormous amount of energy to switch my brain to a totally different setting and culture.
Even though there is more room for error when you're a tourist, I do try my best to overcome simple language barriers and learn basic language skills. Because it's not a given that everyone in the entire world speaks English, I sometimes, depending on the destination come prepared with a translator app. Going into a grocery store looking for the types of food that you are comfortable with with a translator app on every single type of item, does take a lot longer than usual to grocery shop and is also a cognitive strain. You can guess a lot from a packaging design but you can never be 100% sure what you're getting. And like many autistic people, I also have certain foods I just don't like to eat, so therefore I use a lot of energy on this part of traveling.
Just the other day I had a craving for strawberry milk in Thailand and was quickly reminded of what could happen if I don't take my time to properly translate food packaging before buying it. I saw a pink bottle in the milk section with cute pictures of strawberries on it and I naturally assumed it was regular strawberry milk, but of course it had to be a special fermented milk. Safe to say I had a slight surprise when the milk entered my mouth as it was much more pungent than the usual strawberry milk. It was not what I had expected. But small surprises like that can be quite stressful, especially if I'm on a short trip because there's not much time to correct errors like that.
Something similar happened to me in Japan. One time I got urgently hungry and needed food asap, so I walked into a café I thought looked good, and because there were pictures of the food on the menu I made an assumption that what I could see would be what I would get (except beef and liver/intestines looks almost the same when thinly sliced and woked). But because I was urgently hungry I just pointed on some thing I thought looked ok and I felt pretty safe about my choice. When I got the dish I realized it was not what I expected after just having had one bite of it. It was chopped liver with green vegetables and I'd thought it was a beef wok with vegetables... nothing wrong with liver except I don't like the metallic flavor and chewy texture of it. Safe to say I had to leave the plate unfinished and sneak out of there (food was already paid for). I absolutely hate food waste and I was so mortified for leaving it. So pictures do not at all speak a thousand words every time you see one, I got chopped liver when I thought it was sliced beef.
All of this (and more reasons) is partly why I prefer longer trips to short ones, with longer time I will for one thing have more time to learn what food I like to get. I also get time to adjust properly to changes and get back into my routine while being on a longer journey. I also feel more able to integrate myself more authentically into the new environment I'm in and get a proper sense of the customs.
I prefer to adjust to different customs in different countries in order to be respectful as a visitor, and whenever I'm in new situations where I meet people during my travels, I turn on the 'extra social brain' setting that I have developed over a lifetime with masking to get by socially, and that also makes me hyper aware about even the most subtle differences in how people communicate around the world.
But it is different from 'everyday masking' which makes you feel trapped and stale by having to conform to peoples expectations of how you should behave. At least when I travel I get to try on a new variety of masks and often find there is no need for a mask because I just found a place I fit in.
It may sound stressful I'm sure, but it's also better than feeling trapped in the same mask or place by having to act like someone I'm not, day in and day out.
My mind is wired to want to explore and see things from different perspectives, so even if my ways may seem rigid to some, I am very passionate about learning, discovering and understanding other cultures and customs whenever I experience something new. I am very open minded in that way and the things I am rigid about usually doesn't affect anyone else but myself. Autistic people are actually among those those who does more than anyone else to adjust any surroundings considering how much we struggle with it sometimes, and that includes me. But when that is said I don't mean it in a bitter way, because it's not adjusting to other countries customs and cultures that I have an issue with, but rather the rules and customs across cultures that aren't doing anything but harm yet are too established globally to get rid of any time soon. Things that my eye is trained to recognize in my homeland. An example of that is misogyny and racism which is found to still be everywhere in the world. That I have no respect for and will not adjust to.
Other than distancing myself from harmful culture, I actually find that experiencing new cultures is the most liberating part about traveling.
Because of how people usually have the understanding of not automatically having the same culture and customs as a traveler, that gives me more leeway and room for trial and error when I'm communicating with someone in a place I've never been, and that is very liberating! I compare communicating with people around the world with communicating with people in my own homeland, and I learn a lot about the human mind in that way. As a native to the place you live in, you are automatically expected to conform to the culture and customs of that place even if you can feel that you don't share the same values and beliefs. But that's part if what society is..and social norms. I can see how we have to somewhat respect our own homes cultures as well, even if we don't like it. I would after all have to apply the same respect I show other countries to my own homeland too since I believe in respecting the customs of the different cultures and countries I enter into. And I don't like double morals.
But for me personally; I won't feel complete if I can't experience more than my own country during my whole life, and that's also why I enjoy to travel. For the sake of feeling free to experience life.
Anyway, what cultural differences am I talking about that could be so interesting? Actually it's the little things that get me. For example slurping when you're eating something is considered rude in Norway, where I'm from, whilst it's completely acceptable in for example Japan and South Korea. And removing your shoes is a must all over Asia as well as back in most of Europe, but so many places around the United States people keep their shoes on. And I love how having a bath before bed is the norm in Japan whilst in most of the west people feel the need to shower in the early morning before work, which is a custom I just can't conform to. I prefer nighttime baths. Social rules often differentiate just a little bit from country to country and that makes the amount of energy I use to fine tune my social brain settings when I travel enormous. I absolutely love how people stand in perfect lines to board the bus at Waterloo station in London, and how people line up just about everywhere in Japan. Especially in the escalators. But in my own homeland people seem to be completely uninterested in ingraining that into society and instead everyone uses their elbow to get ahead everywhere. I absolutely can't stand that about my own homelands culture.
So instead of feeling locked down to stay in a country with a culture that will make me feel restrictive in my ability to think and feel, I don't mind crossing paths with lots of new people from different cultures, because to me it is like a breath of fresh air to learn about other ways and mindsets.
Meeting people across the world also increases the possibility to meet the right kind of people that I can connect with. It has been when I traveled that I was able to meet some of the most kind and interesting people in my life. I do highly recommend people who feel lonely to travel solo, because the world contains so many wonderful people and places that are just waiting to be found.
There are ups and downs to traveling (solo in my case) as an autistic but that doesn't mean I won't keep doing it. There's just too many things I'm curious about. Aren't you?